Pigeon John “Cheerleaders”

Had to post this gem. It’s been a while, a long while, since I’ve listened to this but it still gets to me. Pigeon John is such a character. I love his unique style and exuberance when he raps. Plus the positive messages and references to God is always a plus. Hope this brought y’all back too.

-STAN

Ultimate Surrender

I don’t usually write about my faith but I’ve collected so many thoughts the past six months that I had to start to write them down. Funny thing, the first writing I will do is about something I read today.

I usually read my devotional often but didn’t read it for a few days. The readings really uplift me for the day when I feel overwhelmed with things in life. The entry for today was really good and the topic was about surrendering to God.

The scripture it mentioned was Mark 10:28-29. “Peter said to him, ‘We have left everything to follow you!’/'I tell you the truth,’ Jesus replied, ‘no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel…’”

For me and the gospel…

What I learned from this was that the purpose of following Jesus was not for what the disciples themselves would receive but for the gospel and Jesus Christ. We ourselves in this day in age must be careful of surrender that is motivated by personal gain and benefits that may result. For example, I myself use to think before having a relationship with God , “I want to go and surrender to God because I want the sin in my life gone, because I want to be made Holy.” Being delievered from Sin and being made holy are the result of being right with God, but surrender resulting from this kind of thinking is not the true nature of being a Christian. I had to find this out myself. Our motive for total surrender shouldn’t be for personal gain at all. We can not be self-centered that we go to God only when we want something from Him, and not for God himself. It is like we are saying, “No, God, I don’t want you; I want me. But I do want YOU to clean me and fill me with your Holy Spirit. I want to be showcased on your trophy chest so I can tell everyone, ‘This is what God has done for me.’” Gaining heaven, being saved from sin, and being made useful to God are things that should never even be a concern in real surrender. Genuine ultimate surrender is a personal prevalent choice for Jesus Christ himself.

Where is Jesus in our lives when we have a concern about our relationships here on Earth? Will we desert him with this excuse-”Yes, Lord, I heard you call me, but my friends need me and I have my own interests. I just can’t go further.” I was in this boat before, even recently.

Luke 9:57-62: “As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, ‘I will follow you wherever you go.’/ Jesus replied, ‘Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.’/ He said to another man, ‘Follow me.’ But the man replied,’Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’/ Jesus said to them,’Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the Kingdom of God.”/ Still another man said, ‘I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.’/ Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’”

“I just can’t go further,” we say.

“Then”, Jesus says, “you cannot follow me.”

Luke 14:26-33: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate their father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple./ And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple./ Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?/ For he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him,/ saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’/ Or supposed a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and  consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?/ If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace./ In the same way, any of you who does not give everything he has cannot be my disciple.”

True surrender will always go beyond natural devotion. If we just give up ourselves to Him, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender. Be careful of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God. I know very well how that is. Knowing God but not fully surrendering areas of my life that I wanted for myself. Most of us only have a vision of what surrender really means, but we have never truly experienced it. I want that experience. I yearn for that experience.

Jeremy Camp “I Surrender to You”

-STAN

I Won’t Let It Die.

I can’t wait for the new Ugly Duckling album. January 12th, my friends.

This track is such a feel-good track. And I’ll use it to explain what I’ve experienced lately.

I WON’T LET IT DIE.

Hmmm.

What WON’T I LET DIE you ask?

Firstly, I won’t let this blog go to waste. I’ve experienced so much the past few months, and yet have been super lazy to even jot them down. Initially, I wrote on here for the sake of just doing it. Rarely would I write anything of worth, to me that is. But now is the time.

Secondly, I won’t let my happiness die. I won’t let the recent setbacks, the recent trials to allow me to fall to the emo-ness again. I’ve been so happy since last month, and the emo-ness has slowly subsided. To be closer to so much people, to know that people care for me so much.  It’s a great feeling, especially in this season of giving.  I feel people have given me so much by just being there for me, talking to me, hanging out, and just caring. It all comes to down to my last point.

Lastly, I won’t let my love for the God that made me die. All the things He has allowed to happen these past months, it’s taught me a lot. Lord, you’ve shown me how strong I really am. You’ve shown me how much I sell myself short, with beatmaking, going to school, friendships, work, etc. I love you. And I won’t let that fire go out. For a bit, it was almost on life support. My candle was on it’s last stage and all that it would take was someone, anyone, to just breathe on it  to put the fire out. But it’s back to where it was, if not stronger than ever before. I won’t let it die.

You got this. And I submit to your power.

I’m finding balance. And it’s awesome. Starting school next month again. LCC, full-time. Trying to get a AAT degree. Associate of Arts in Teaching SONNN! So please pray for me in that. I need it. Anyways, I’m out for now.

Jazzminds tonight with a lot of GBCers and friends. Tell ya how that goes. Blessings friends.

- STAN

Welcome to Heartbreak

This is pretty much one of the better tracks on this CD…Which is not saying much. Good try Kanye but it falls short a lot. Maybe a track of this kinda stuff like “Welcome to Heartbreak” with some raw hip-hop stuff. I miss the rawness of Kanye like when he first came out with College Dropout. 808s and Heartbreaks falls extremely short of anything worth listening to for a long period of time. But with his talent, he can return to prominence. But mannn…Imagine if Kanye used his talents to truly advance God’s kingdom. Wouldn’t God have favor over his life and wouldn’t he be blessed even more?

More of Him. Less of us.

Anyways, this song sort of  explains I’ve felt for a long time, at least the title anyways. But thank you God for this. I’m learning and have been learning.

I can’t stop. I won’t stop.

No need for a Diddy shake.

-STAN

Velvet Elvis

I’ve been reading this book by Rob Bell called Velvet Elvis. I skimmed through bits and pieces of it before, but after finally finishing a bunch of books I’ve been meaning to read, I’m finally getting into this one.

Velvet Elvis is a great book about repainting the Christian faith I must tell you, but I came to this specific part in the book that I wanted to share.

“I’m learning that very few people actually live from the heart.  Very few live connected with their soul.  And those few who do the difficult work, who stare their junk in the face, who get counsel, who let Jesus into all the rooms in their soul that no one ever goes in, they make a difference…They are pursuing wholeness and shalom, and it’s contagious.”

Amen Rob Bell. Let’s be “the few” who “make a difference”, my friends.

-STAN

Let’s not slide down…Let’s run up!

A few days ago, I thought about my childhood and this memory came up.

I was in the third grade, which was 1993-94. At that time, I was living in Cottage Grove, Minnesota. My father, who was still in the Army at the time, had just been stationed to Fort Snelling, Minnesota, just outside the Twin Cities. We had just moved to a townhouse right next to the elementary school I attended, Crestview Elementary.

I remembered I was in school, recess time and I was playing on the playground. The playground consisted of swings, monkey bars, ladders, etc. The coolest thing about this playground at school was this huge slide it had. From the top of the slide to the bottom had to be almost a story with a near-perfect forty-five degree angle down the slide. The kids would wait in a line to go down the slide. But I remembered a few boys started to do something different.

The boys started to try to run up the slide from the bottom to get to the top. It was pretty dangerous as most of the kids just wanted to slide down the slide. The boys would take their chance to run up like someone trying to run across a busy intersection to get to the other side while dodging moving vehicles. The boys would try and try, but never could get to the top. As they did this, some kids watched in awe and also attempted to try to run to the top, me included. More and more kids joined in to try. Most failed and some had to jump out of the way of the remaining kids that were going down the slide.

Then, one boy made it to the top. Then another. And another.

I saw this and wanted to know the feeling of getting to the top, even if it would be trivial the next day. My first few attempts, I made it half way, but I couldn’t make it to the top and would slide down to the bottom again.

After so many attempts, I tried my hardest to get to the top. I made it to the spot where I would always end up falling. I held on to the sides of the slide, and started to climb the slide. I remembered it was super hard. One of the kids below me, who was also trying to get up, started to push me up. Then, one of the kids at the top put their hand out and told me to grab on and started to pull me up. It became a team effort to get to the top.

Finally, I made it, and more and more kids made it as well with the help of others. Then, one of the teachers saw this, and told us to stop doing what we were doing.

We never did that anymore while I was at that school.

Anyways, I remembered this moment and thought, “Isn’t this how our walk with God is?”

A slide is made to go down. The population of this world that doesn’t have that relationship with God is going downhill. It’s so easy to go down and get that instant gratification, but you end up needing more and more of it.

We as Christians are going against the grain of what a slide was meant for, running up the slide to get to the top. We want to get to where God is, the top of the slide, and we pursue that with all our heart. We run into situations or people that try to bring us down, kids going down the slide while we attempt to make it to the top. It’s easy to let those people/situations to bring us down but we need to keep our eyes focused and fixated on that goal of getting to the top of the slide.

Then, we make it to the place where we’ve seen ourselves fall down again and again. Some of us fall because we go about it alone, thinking we can do it by ourselves on our own strength and just a belief in Christ. But we are weak, sometimes we deceive ourselves. We have belief in Him but don’t follow the Lord’s decrees. We need our brothers and sisters in Christ to walk with us along the way as well and hold us accountable, and push us up, like the kid who helped pushed me up the slide. So many attempts I thought I could make it to the top on my own, but I needed the help of the kids who were trying to get to the top for support.

The boy who first made it to the top of the slide, signifies Jesus Christ, and the kids that joined him at the top right after him are the apostles and so on and so forth. Basically those before us who have gone through the same struggles as we have in our lives. The kid below me pushing me could only do so much, but I had to have that person reach out his hand and help pull me up. Our brothers and sisters in Christ can help us, but we need Jesus to help us up. He reaches out his hand when he sees we are truly living for Him and are pursuing him. He will pull us through tough situations, relationships, financial, illness, etc. He wants us to be there with him. All we have to do is go against the grain of this world.

Let us continue continue to go against the grain. Let’s run up that slide, not walk up it. And let us help pull those who don’t know Him with us. And when we see them falling, push them up to where they know Jesus and see him reaching out his hand to pull them up.

Thank you Lord for reaching out your hand to me and pulling me up. I won’t let go.

-STAN

JR Matsumura: He is Prolifik!

Here’s a little video of a friend of mines, JR Matsumura. An awesome man of God.

Music featured on the video by one of the local Hip-Hop artists, NoMasterBacks, also strong Christ followers.

This is JR’s God-given gift, a talent for surfing. A very unique talent.

Shaun, Micah, and I helped him put together another video using this footage. A video for Prolifik Clothing, so look out for that. This is just a lil’ sneak peek for you guys. Enjoy.

Praise God for the awesome, talented, men & women of God that He has put in my life! Thank you Lord.

-STAN

All In My Mind

Hope you guys are having a blessed day off. If you ain’t working, lucky you because I’m stuck at work until 10pm.

I have nothing better to do here since there is no one in the building, so I just had to blog.

Last night’s service was awesome. Great message from Pastor Coach and my small group leader Shaun Castro. Saturday night checked out Creed’s CD Release Party @ E&O Trading Co. Great performances from ALR, Bless’DChil, & Perfect Median. Go get Creed’s new album, SIQ of Lazy. Dope album. Support Hawaii Hip-Hop. The biggest thing about the album, on “Mix Plate Special”, Well Being speaks about local artists and drops RDSP. That’s dope! Makes me want to make even more RDSP music right now so we could justify our name being mentioned alongside with guys like NMB, Creed, Joe Dub, and others.

It’s a reason why I’ve been trying to make beats and get them out as much as possible without being overboard to people. Just like this beat I’ve made specifically for Rhyme. I’m keeping it under wraps until Rhyme puts down some 16s on it but I seriously think it’s one of the best beats I made in terms of how it’s sounds smooth and simplistic. I want everyone to hear it, but I know I should keep it under wraps until I know what we are going to do with it. I can’t wait to hear Rhyme rip it up. Hopefully you’ll hear it Saturday @ the groundUP show??? We’ll see.

Speaking of which, groundUp is going to have an art show @ Honolulu Design Center-Cupola Theater titled “Bound for Greatness” this Saturday from 8pm to Midnight. Featuring live painting, live photography, music, art displays, fashion, etc. You know the deal, like other groundUP shows: $7 admission, $5 with skirt or collar or groundUP shirt. Check the lineup on the flier below to see who’ll be there.

BOUND FOR GREATNESS

Alright, let’s get to the heart of this blog.

Hmph.

I made a beat today that goes along with this post. You can download and listen to it here: Stutterin’ Stan – All My Mind. It’s incomplete, so bear with me.

I sampled from this song. Full Force “All In My Mind”. The video is pretty ridiculous, quintessential 80’s r&B music video. Haha. But I thought it would be cool to sample, and it sort of works I guess.

Anyways, I’m just thinking too much right now, all these things is all in my mind right now.

I wrote a long blog the other day that was briefly up on here. But I got convicted by God and my close friends to take it down and I did.

Reason being, I wrote some personal things that was going on in my life, that after reading it, I didn’t need to write about at all.

There are some things I should only say to God, my small group, my friends, and/or family. I should carefully choose what to divulge to the millions of people who use the internet that could stumble upon this blog. In order to be blameless, I just need to keep the real personal things between me and the people I trust, especially if it’s about a person in my life. No name-dropping or vagueness like mentioning a “person”, “friend”, “her”, “him”, “she” or “he”, unless the person agrees with it or I know it’s not something that they would not take offense to.

To be vague for the last time, the blog I wrote could easily have been offensive to the person mentioned in the blog because it spoke of my relationship with this person and some information about it that the masses don’t need to know. I don’t want to make it weirder than it already is and have people ask me, or people they think I’m talking about, questions that didn’t even know about it in the first place. If you don’t know about it then too bad. And to those that do know, leave that to me to say anything to people if they ask about it. Okay, enough of that. This is just the start of how many aspects of my life I still need to work on.

One of them being, selfishness.

God convicted in ways I couldn’t even imagine with this.

He convicted me to apologize to Micah on not being helpful at all the week leading up to the Roses & Revolvers show @ the Prolifik Shop. No excuses, as a friend I should have been there at the shop to help, not to do my own thing. And if I wasn’t there for that, I should have been somewhere else. It was a stressful time for you, and I’m sorry if I had put even more stress on you. Thank you for accepting my apology. It was the main reason I wanted to be there until 8am Friday morning to help you bang out those shirts for the Grace Bible Kapolei youth. I wanted to let you know that I wouldn’t be a hassle or a burden, but I could actually be helpful.

God also brought forth the ever-growing issue of talking to my family about Him. About my newly-found faith, and how much of a change has come from building a strong foundation in Him. I was persecuted about it specifically from my sister right before last week’s Sunday night service. Just a barrage of unbelief from her that I was still the same person as always, and why I would tithe more than she thought was needed at service to the point I would be cutting it close with my finances. I remember her asking, “Is this church one of those ones where they make you give a lot?” I didn’t know what to say and just got bitter from that situation with how she attacked me about being Christian. I left and headed to service in a crappy mood as I was driving there.

God convicted me again to call her and apologize, and I did. I think for me to do that showed her there was change, because when we would fight before, I never would apologize so quickly.

I thank God for letting me open up about the situation with a couple of guys in my small group, Josh and Patrick before and after service that night. They really helped me out and calmed me on what to do.

One of the bible scriptures that has helped me with this situation is 1 Samuel 16:7b.

If you haven’t read the first book of Samuel in your bible, I strongly suggest you do so. It’s a great story of how God used an average teenager named David to do his work, his battle against Goliath, and how he later became King.

In 1 Samuel 16:7b it says, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

It’s just another example that God doesn’t care about how much money you have, if you’re handsome/pretty, or if you’re popular. He looks at the very core of who you are, if you’re laying down your life for His purpose, loving others more than yourself, and truly serving Him.

God knows my heart. He knows I’m building that foundation through Him, wanting to fulfill what purpose He has for me and do amazing things in His name. I just got to find a way to express that and bring that out to my family. I unintentionally keep it secretive, when I should be spending time with them along with God and tell them my testimony about how my thinking has changed and how I feel so much better about myself nowadays. The things they can’t see from looking at me, but the things I can only tell them through spending time with them.

I look at myself similar to David before he knew of his purpose. A job that’s not fulfilling to him. Unnoticed to people including his own father and siblings. Wondering if he’s just going to be a lowly shepherd his whole life. I felt like that too.

Don’t get me wrong, if this where God wants me to be, I’m going to do it to the best of my abilities and glorify Him through that. But I definitely know God has bigger plans for me in the future.

I sense it from the encouragement I’m getting through people like Shaun Castro, Pastor Coach, Josh, Tia, Pastor Kei, Bless’DChil, etc. I sense that people are getting affected in a positive way by the exuberance I show about my faith. It’s amazing to see people re-dedicating their lives to God or wanting to know about Him, specifically my supervisor at work, my friends Chris, Tia, Janel, Ashley, etc. I’m happy for them, but I know there’s more people that just need to get invited to church, hear the word & music, and just be in the presence of God. I’m just looking for them.

I leave you with this.

Make your life a living monument to the Word of God.

Who knows? Maybe that’s all it will take for someone to find God.

Through how you live your life.

-STAN

A Solid Foundation…

My favorite Hillsong.

Your love brings me to my knees again
We’re gonna bring an anthem of love
We’re gonna live for you
May your love become my every thought
I wanna know the sound of your heart
I wanna live for you now

Like it says in the song…God, may your love become my every thought. Even with the emotions, the feelings, the sin that is in me. Let that sink in, Lord. Your love overcomes all.

Thank you for redeeming me. Thank you for all the good things and bad things.

God you are love.

-STAN

Let’s just say…

…I need to update this thing more often.

There’s been so much that’s gone on and so little time to blog about it.

I just got baptized Saturday at Ala Moana Beach Park along with two guys from my small group, Patrick and Shawn. It was a great thing, to show my obedience to God that I am truly living for him and it will continue. Thanks to those who came out and shared the experience with me: Shaun Castro, Patrick, Sean, Ashley, Emma, Canaan, Kristen, Josh, Benjy, Jay, Rhyme, Tia, Cristalyne, Bryson, Janel, Jacie, Kavet, Micah, Paquito, Brandon, Aeza, Jameson, and the rest of the guys from Church. THANK YOU!

Right now, I’m hard at work on beats for the upcoming beat battle: Beat Root 8 . It will be on Thursday, July 10, 2008 at Easy Music Center, King Street from 5 to 7pm. It’s FREE! I got a few beats I have done, but I’m still unsure of which ones to use and ideas have been coming in and out of my brain. It will be fun though! So come out!

Also, I turn 23 soon. Yeah! (sarcastically). My birthday is Tuesday, July 1st. Another year wiser, and so on.

If you’re planning on getting me something, I compiled a birthday wishlist for you. Just for fun because honestly I pretty much got what I need and feel blessed. But it doesn’t hurt to have gifts. :]

BIRTHDAY WISHLIST:

• 16 GB iPod Touch
• MacBook Pro
• Call of Duty 4 for Xbox 360 (I lost this game this week :[ )
• Xbox Live Subscription Card [3 months or 12 months]
• Xbox Live headset (See a trend? Haha!)
• Gift cards [From clothing shops, food places, and for gas!]
• Minnesota Vikings Apparel (My favorite football team!)
• Al Jefferson NBA Minnesota Timberwolves Jersey (An up-and-coming NBA player)
• Edirol Midi Keyboard Controller PCR-M50
• Technics 1200 Direct Drive Turntable
• Shaun Castro, Koak or Eukarezt painting
• MPC 2000
• Korg 12 track digital recorder
• Rode Studio Condenser Mic
• Playstation Portable
• Beanies
• Vintage Tee’s
• Puma Shoes (Around size 9)
• Music CD’s (By Niyat, Jneiro Janel, Kid Loco, Black Tie Dynasty, Giant Panda, The Procussions, Sigur Ros, Yesterday’s New Quintet, The Dead 60’s, Magnetic Fields, Dr. Who Dat?, Pigeon John, Architecture In Helsinki, Blue Scholars, Marco Polo, The Avalanches, Common Market, etc.)
• DVD’s (Anything you think I’d like. I LOVE MOVIES!)

And that’s pretty much it. I think? Haha.

It’s been mostly church, work, chillin’ with friends, and preparing for the beat battle for me lately. Also, I’ve become closer to a lot of people through this time: Shaun, Micah, Jen, Ashley, etc. Life is good, and I think it will always be, now that God is the center of it all. And I’m happy about that. Pce and blessings ’til next time.

-STAN