Beat Root: Grand Championships 2009

Beat Root Grand Championships 2009 @ The Loft (4.11.09)

Excited for this event! It’s been a minute since I’ve heard some beats. Beat Root winners Lael, The Hap, OSNA, TKO, DJAH & Kazu the Gonzo will be bringing that hot fiyah. Also, performances by NMB, Nabahe, Slapp Symphony, Rhyme Da Old Man, Bless’dChill, Creed Chameleon & New Jacks. Please come out and support at The Loft on April 11th. Starts at 9pm, ends at 130am. Presale tickets on-sale at Easy Music Center, In4mation, and www.eleshawaii.com. $5.50 on-line and $5 at the other spots.  Or just purchase them at the door for $7.

Also, Lightsleepers with the help of Slapp Symphony helped compile a CD of beats from numerous producers of past Beat Roots. With every paid ticket the first 100 at the event will get the CD FREE. The Beatroot Sampler features Sentric, Lael, Joe Gosalvez, Slapp and many others as well. I am truly blessed to also be featured on this CD. Thanks Kav.

BR Sampler

Free is always good but with a collection of beats from past Beat Root producers, it’s sure to be a reason to come in early.

SUPPORT! SUPPORT!

-STAN

2/28/09: Journey, Here I Come!

I know I don’t write often on this site. And if I have, it’s been only music-related (I can’t help it if I love music). But I’ve been starting to collect my thoughts and opinions, and soon enough will post these up ASAP.

My day, today, started off with the sound of my phone alarm going off. For some reason, my phone alarm always wakes me up but my clock radio alarm never does. I know for a fact that the clock alarm is much louder. If the night before, for some reason, I don’t put my cell phone on the charger, all I’ll have is the clock radio to try to wake me up. It sucks. I think I’ve missed way too many classes because I haven’t been able to wake up.

Anyways, I woke up bright and early to the sound of my phone alarm.

8:00AM.

I wondered, “It’s Saturday! Why do I have to get up this early? I work at 2pm.” I just layed there in bed, almost returning to dreamland, and realized…JOURNEY TICKETS! I almost forgot that Journey tickets were to go on sale at 9AM for the March 25th show they just added. Knowing that the first show was sold out in a matter of two hours, I decided to try my luck getting tickets on the Ticketmaster website. No way was I going to stand in a long line at the Blaisedell Box Office for hours in this cold weather Hawaii has been having. I get enough of that just living in Wahiawa.

8:15AM: I get up, turn on the laptop and bring up the ticketmaster website. Not just one window, but eight different windows of the Ticketmaster website. I’ve almost become an expert on buying tickets online. Matt Costa, Kanye, Blue Scholars, etc. I’ve always had my strategy.

8:25AM: With time to spare, I decide to check the Yahoo fantasy basketball league I’m in. “Dang I’m in 9th place!” Weaksauce. Random YouTube watching, facebook chatting, and more random music blurbs to post on this site.

8:50AM:  A nice cup of hot chocolate in hand and constant refreshing of each window. Listening to A.G. “Hip-Hop Quotables”. Dang, I miss J-Dilla beats.

9AM finally comes through. I try to purchase 4 tickets. $75/each. I’m able to get riser seats on the left side of the stage. I click on continuing to purchase…

“There was a problem…” appears on the screen.

NO! *snaps finger in the air ala @jdomingo*

After twenty minutes of being denied, I finally was able to get tickets.

SECTION 8/ ROW K/ SEATS 1-4.

I will be going with some of my friends, so this should be a fun night. I’m pretty stoked.

March 25th SONNN.

I Won’t Let It Die.

I can’t wait for the new Ugly Duckling album. January 12th, my friends.

This track is such a feel-good track. And I’ll use it to explain what I’ve experienced lately.

I WON’T LET IT DIE.

Hmmm.

What WON’T I LET DIE you ask?

Firstly, I won’t let this blog go to waste. I’ve experienced so much the past few months, and yet have been super lazy to even jot them down. Initially, I wrote on here for the sake of just doing it. Rarely would I write anything of worth, to me that is. But now is the time.

Secondly, I won’t let my happiness die. I won’t let the recent setbacks, the recent trials to allow me to fall to the emo-ness again. I’ve been so happy since last month, and the emo-ness has slowly subsided. To be closer to so much people, to know that people care for me so much.  It’s a great feeling, especially in this season of giving.  I feel people have given me so much by just being there for me, talking to me, hanging out, and just caring. It all comes to down to my last point.

Lastly, I won’t let my love for the God that made me die. All the things He has allowed to happen these past months, it’s taught me a lot. Lord, you’ve shown me how strong I really am. You’ve shown me how much I sell myself short, with beatmaking, going to school, friendships, work, etc. I love you. And I won’t let that fire go out. For a bit, it was almost on life support. My candle was on it’s last stage and all that it would take was someone, anyone, to just breathe on it  to put the fire out. But it’s back to where it was, if not stronger than ever before. I won’t let it die.

You got this. And I submit to your power.

I’m finding balance. And it’s awesome. Starting school next month again. LCC, full-time. Trying to get a AAT degree. Associate of Arts in Teaching SONNN! So please pray for me in that. I need it. Anyways, I’m out for now.

Jazzminds tonight with a lot of GBCers and friends. Tell ya how that goes. Blessings friends.

- STAN

Let’s not slide down…Let’s run up!

A few days ago, I thought about my childhood and this memory came up.

I was in the third grade, which was 1993-94. At that time, I was living in Cottage Grove, Minnesota. My father, who was still in the Army at the time, had just been stationed to Fort Snelling, Minnesota, just outside the Twin Cities. We had just moved to a townhouse right next to the elementary school I attended, Crestview Elementary.

I remembered I was in school, recess time and I was playing on the playground. The playground consisted of swings, monkey bars, ladders, etc. The coolest thing about this playground at school was this huge slide it had. From the top of the slide to the bottom had to be almost a story with a near-perfect forty-five degree angle down the slide. The kids would wait in a line to go down the slide. But I remembered a few boys started to do something different.

The boys started to try to run up the slide from the bottom to get to the top. It was pretty dangerous as most of the kids just wanted to slide down the slide. The boys would take their chance to run up like someone trying to run across a busy intersection to get to the other side while dodging moving vehicles. The boys would try and try, but never could get to the top. As they did this, some kids watched in awe and also attempted to try to run to the top, me included. More and more kids joined in to try. Most failed and some had to jump out of the way of the remaining kids that were going down the slide.

Then, one boy made it to the top. Then another. And another.

I saw this and wanted to know the feeling of getting to the top, even if it would be trivial the next day. My first few attempts, I made it half way, but I couldn’t make it to the top and would slide down to the bottom again.

After so many attempts, I tried my hardest to get to the top. I made it to the spot where I would always end up falling. I held on to the sides of the slide, and started to climb the slide. I remembered it was super hard. One of the kids below me, who was also trying to get up, started to push me up. Then, one of the kids at the top put their hand out and told me to grab on and started to pull me up. It became a team effort to get to the top.

Finally, I made it, and more and more kids made it as well with the help of others. Then, one of the teachers saw this, and told us to stop doing what we were doing.

We never did that anymore while I was at that school.

Anyways, I remembered this moment and thought, “Isn’t this how our walk with God is?”

A slide is made to go down. The population of this world that doesn’t have that relationship with God is going downhill. It’s so easy to go down and get that instant gratification, but you end up needing more and more of it.

We as Christians are going against the grain of what a slide was meant for, running up the slide to get to the top. We want to get to where God is, the top of the slide, and we pursue that with all our heart. We run into situations or people that try to bring us down, kids going down the slide while we attempt to make it to the top. It’s easy to let those people/situations to bring us down but we need to keep our eyes focused and fixated on that goal of getting to the top of the slide.

Then, we make it to the place where we’ve seen ourselves fall down again and again. Some of us fall because we go about it alone, thinking we can do it by ourselves on our own strength and just a belief in Christ. But we are weak, sometimes we deceive ourselves. We have belief in Him but don’t follow the Lord’s decrees. We need our brothers and sisters in Christ to walk with us along the way as well and hold us accountable, and push us up, like the kid who helped pushed me up the slide. So many attempts I thought I could make it to the top on my own, but I needed the help of the kids who were trying to get to the top for support.

The boy who first made it to the top of the slide, signifies Jesus Christ, and the kids that joined him at the top right after him are the apostles and so on and so forth. Basically those before us who have gone through the same struggles as we have in our lives. The kid below me pushing me could only do so much, but I had to have that person reach out his hand and help pull me up. Our brothers and sisters in Christ can help us, but we need Jesus to help us up. He reaches out his hand when he sees we are truly living for Him and are pursuing him. He will pull us through tough situations, relationships, financial, illness, etc. He wants us to be there with him. All we have to do is go against the grain of this world.

Let us continue continue to go against the grain. Let’s run up that slide, not walk up it. And let us help pull those who don’t know Him with us. And when we see them falling, push them up to where they know Jesus and see him reaching out his hand to pull them up.

Thank you Lord for reaching out your hand to me and pulling me up. I won’t let go.

-STAN

All In My Mind

Hope you guys are having a blessed day off. If you ain’t working, lucky you because I’m stuck at work until 10pm.

I have nothing better to do here since there is no one in the building, so I just had to blog.

Last night’s service was awesome. Great message from Pastor Coach and my small group leader Shaun Castro. Saturday night checked out Creed’s CD Release Party @ E&O Trading Co. Great performances from ALR, Bless’DChil, & Perfect Median. Go get Creed’s new album, SIQ of Lazy. Dope album. Support Hawaii Hip-Hop. The biggest thing about the album, on “Mix Plate Special”, Well Being speaks about local artists and drops RDSP. That’s dope! Makes me want to make even more RDSP music right now so we could justify our name being mentioned alongside with guys like NMB, Creed, Joe Dub, and others.

It’s a reason why I’ve been trying to make beats and get them out as much as possible without being overboard to people. Just like this beat I’ve made specifically for Rhyme. I’m keeping it under wraps until Rhyme puts down some 16s on it but I seriously think it’s one of the best beats I made in terms of how it’s sounds smooth and simplistic. I want everyone to hear it, but I know I should keep it under wraps until I know what we are going to do with it. I can’t wait to hear Rhyme rip it up. Hopefully you’ll hear it Saturday @ the groundUP show??? We’ll see.

Speaking of which, groundUp is going to have an art show @ Honolulu Design Center-Cupola Theater titled “Bound for Greatness” this Saturday from 8pm to Midnight. Featuring live painting, live photography, music, art displays, fashion, etc. You know the deal, like other groundUP shows: $7 admission, $5 with skirt or collar or groundUP shirt. Check the lineup on the flier below to see who’ll be there.

BOUND FOR GREATNESS

Alright, let’s get to the heart of this blog.

Hmph.

I made a beat today that goes along with this post. You can download and listen to it here: Stutterin’ Stan – All My Mind. It’s incomplete, so bear with me.

I sampled from this song. Full Force “All In My Mind”. The video is pretty ridiculous, quintessential 80’s r&B music video. Haha. But I thought it would be cool to sample, and it sort of works I guess.

Anyways, I’m just thinking too much right now, all these things is all in my mind right now.

I wrote a long blog the other day that was briefly up on here. But I got convicted by God and my close friends to take it down and I did.

Reason being, I wrote some personal things that was going on in my life, that after reading it, I didn’t need to write about at all.

There are some things I should only say to God, my small group, my friends, and/or family. I should carefully choose what to divulge to the millions of people who use the internet that could stumble upon this blog. In order to be blameless, I just need to keep the real personal things between me and the people I trust, especially if it’s about a person in my life. No name-dropping or vagueness like mentioning a “person”, “friend”, “her”, “him”, “she” or “he”, unless the person agrees with it or I know it’s not something that they would not take offense to.

To be vague for the last time, the blog I wrote could easily have been offensive to the person mentioned in the blog because it spoke of my relationship with this person and some information about it that the masses don’t need to know. I don’t want to make it weirder than it already is and have people ask me, or people they think I’m talking about, questions that didn’t even know about it in the first place. If you don’t know about it then too bad. And to those that do know, leave that to me to say anything to people if they ask about it. Okay, enough of that. This is just the start of how many aspects of my life I still need to work on.

One of them being, selfishness.

God convicted in ways I couldn’t even imagine with this.

He convicted me to apologize to Micah on not being helpful at all the week leading up to the Roses & Revolvers show @ the Prolifik Shop. No excuses, as a friend I should have been there at the shop to help, not to do my own thing. And if I wasn’t there for that, I should have been somewhere else. It was a stressful time for you, and I’m sorry if I had put even more stress on you. Thank you for accepting my apology. It was the main reason I wanted to be there until 8am Friday morning to help you bang out those shirts for the Grace Bible Kapolei youth. I wanted to let you know that I wouldn’t be a hassle or a burden, but I could actually be helpful.

God also brought forth the ever-growing issue of talking to my family about Him. About my newly-found faith, and how much of a change has come from building a strong foundation in Him. I was persecuted about it specifically from my sister right before last week’s Sunday night service. Just a barrage of unbelief from her that I was still the same person as always, and why I would tithe more than she thought was needed at service to the point I would be cutting it close with my finances. I remember her asking, “Is this church one of those ones where they make you give a lot?” I didn’t know what to say and just got bitter from that situation with how she attacked me about being Christian. I left and headed to service in a crappy mood as I was driving there.

God convicted me again to call her and apologize, and I did. I think for me to do that showed her there was change, because when we would fight before, I never would apologize so quickly.

I thank God for letting me open up about the situation with a couple of guys in my small group, Josh and Patrick before and after service that night. They really helped me out and calmed me on what to do.

One of the bible scriptures that has helped me with this situation is 1 Samuel 16:7b.

If you haven’t read the first book of Samuel in your bible, I strongly suggest you do so. It’s a great story of how God used an average teenager named David to do his work, his battle against Goliath, and how he later became King.

In 1 Samuel 16:7b it says, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

It’s just another example that God doesn’t care about how much money you have, if you’re handsome/pretty, or if you’re popular. He looks at the very core of who you are, if you’re laying down your life for His purpose, loving others more than yourself, and truly serving Him.

God knows my heart. He knows I’m building that foundation through Him, wanting to fulfill what purpose He has for me and do amazing things in His name. I just got to find a way to express that and bring that out to my family. I unintentionally keep it secretive, when I should be spending time with them along with God and tell them my testimony about how my thinking has changed and how I feel so much better about myself nowadays. The things they can’t see from looking at me, but the things I can only tell them through spending time with them.

I look at myself similar to David before he knew of his purpose. A job that’s not fulfilling to him. Unnoticed to people including his own father and siblings. Wondering if he’s just going to be a lowly shepherd his whole life. I felt like that too.

Don’t get me wrong, if this where God wants me to be, I’m going to do it to the best of my abilities and glorify Him through that. But I definitely know God has bigger plans for me in the future.

I sense it from the encouragement I’m getting through people like Shaun Castro, Pastor Coach, Josh, Tia, Pastor Kei, Bless’DChil, etc. I sense that people are getting affected in a positive way by the exuberance I show about my faith. It’s amazing to see people re-dedicating their lives to God or wanting to know about Him, specifically my supervisor at work, my friends Chris, Tia, Janel, Ashley, etc. I’m happy for them, but I know there’s more people that just need to get invited to church, hear the word & music, and just be in the presence of God. I’m just looking for them.

I leave you with this.

Make your life a living monument to the Word of God.

Who knows? Maybe that’s all it will take for someone to find God.

Through how you live your life.

-STAN

Honozooloo!

Danggggggggg. This is do dope!

My homie Aaron, photog extraordinaire. Put together a video of photos he’s taken for the past 6 months or beyond. 7 minutes. Over 7,000 images.

Look closely you’ll see a certain someone in the video quite a bit. Starts with an S and rhymes with tan. Haha.

Aaron is always creating, designing, and all that. Talented dude.

Check out his website, honozooloo.com.

Pce. God bless.

-STAN

I’ve been MIA…

…expect a big post ASAP. Just been busy with church things and work as usual. But it’s no wonder no one visits this thing because I haven’t updated in over a month. Geez. Anyways, I guess it’s a good thing I haven’t updated also. Usually it would be about problems or things on my mind that I shouldn’t be thinking about. I thank God that once I go to him that those things are lifted from me. Praise Him! Anyways, I’ll be back in a bit.

-STAN

Let’s just say…

…I need to update this thing more often.

There’s been so much that’s gone on and so little time to blog about it.

I just got baptized Saturday at Ala Moana Beach Park along with two guys from my small group, Patrick and Shawn. It was a great thing, to show my obedience to God that I am truly living for him and it will continue. Thanks to those who came out and shared the experience with me: Shaun Castro, Patrick, Sean, Ashley, Emma, Canaan, Kristen, Josh, Benjy, Jay, Rhyme, Tia, Cristalyne, Bryson, Janel, Jacie, Kavet, Micah, Paquito, Brandon, Aeza, Jameson, and the rest of the guys from Church. THANK YOU!

Right now, I’m hard at work on beats for the upcoming beat battle: Beat Root 8 . It will be on Thursday, July 10, 2008 at Easy Music Center, King Street from 5 to 7pm. It’s FREE! I got a few beats I have done, but I’m still unsure of which ones to use and ideas have been coming in and out of my brain. It will be fun though! So come out!

Also, I turn 23 soon. Yeah! (sarcastically). My birthday is Tuesday, July 1st. Another year wiser, and so on.

If you’re planning on getting me something, I compiled a birthday wishlist for you. Just for fun because honestly I pretty much got what I need and feel blessed. But it doesn’t hurt to have gifts. :]

BIRTHDAY WISHLIST:

• 16 GB iPod Touch
• MacBook Pro
• Call of Duty 4 for Xbox 360 (I lost this game this week :[ )
• Xbox Live Subscription Card [3 months or 12 months]
• Xbox Live headset (See a trend? Haha!)
• Gift cards [From clothing shops, food places, and for gas!]
• Minnesota Vikings Apparel (My favorite football team!)
• Al Jefferson NBA Minnesota Timberwolves Jersey (An up-and-coming NBA player)
• Edirol Midi Keyboard Controller PCR-M50
• Technics 1200 Direct Drive Turntable
• Shaun Castro, Koak or Eukarezt painting
• MPC 2000
• Korg 12 track digital recorder
• Rode Studio Condenser Mic
• Playstation Portable
• Beanies
• Vintage Tee’s
• Puma Shoes (Around size 9)
• Music CD’s (By Niyat, Jneiro Janel, Kid Loco, Black Tie Dynasty, Giant Panda, The Procussions, Sigur Ros, Yesterday’s New Quintet, The Dead 60’s, Magnetic Fields, Dr. Who Dat?, Pigeon John, Architecture In Helsinki, Blue Scholars, Marco Polo, The Avalanches, Common Market, etc.)
• DVD’s (Anything you think I’d like. I LOVE MOVIES!)

And that’s pretty much it. I think? Haha.

It’s been mostly church, work, chillin’ with friends, and preparing for the beat battle for me lately. Also, I’ve become closer to a lot of people through this time: Shaun, Micah, Jen, Ashley, etc. Life is good, and I think it will always be, now that God is the center of it all. And I’m happy about that. Pce and blessings ’til next time.

-STAN

Back from a brief hiatus…And I brought God with me.

Alright…I’m back.

It took me awhile to have the energy and interest in writing something on here again, but now the words are coming to me like a magnet.

During my brief time away from here, I’ve felt I’ve grown a lot. It’s because God has become the center of it all. The center of my life, where most if not all my time has spent.

For those that don’t know, I was raised Catholic. Typical Filipino, right? But that faith I had become dormant as I grew up.

In middle school, I started to have selfish needs/wants, and all I cared about was myself. Those things grew more and more in me through high school. I made things an idol, and God was far from me. The worst thing was I would go to church while this was happening. I was a hypocrite. I would repent to God at church and bury the sin in me, but once I left church I would dig those back up again. It was a vicious cycle.

I moved to Chicago after high school and brought this baggage. I was miserable. I had a hard time making friends. Far from my comfort, Hawaii. Far from my friends, who helped seed these things in me.

Two years in this miserable state, I decided to return to Hawaii thinking I would be happy, but my misery didn’t end. I started to drink heavily and made bad decisions. Hung out with people who didn’t have my best interests, but their own selfish desires.

I got into making beats, and brought this along with me too. I got down on myself if people didn’t like my music or hated on me. I doubted myself. I would look to God only during these bad times, and once everything was back to normal I put him on the shelf when I would need him again.

It was only recently that I finally knew the true power of God and did all this feelings leave me finally.

I met her last December, a strong Christian woman. We started to talk and hang out. I was pretty much talking and getting to know her for my selfish want. I was thinking, “Mannnn. If I make this girl my girlfriend, maybe I will finally be happy.” She would talk to me about God, but I would brush it off. Later, our relationship would deteriorate. Again, I would get down on myself and feel alone. I would ask God, “Why is this happening to me?” I began to truly seek for God.

It was then, that Shaun Castro came into my life. He invited me to check out his small group on a Thursday night over a month and a half ago. I knew Shaun through GroundUP but we had never really talked to each other besides small talk. I knew of his strong faith and respected him immensely.

I began going to small group along with Jessie, Micah, Josh, and Shaun became my mentor. I started to walk and reach for God, and a lot of the negative things in my life disappeared. I accepted the Lord as my one and only savior.

Finally, I went to my first church service at Grace Bible last Sunday. Shaun was graduating from bible school and invited me to come. I was very intimated and didn’t know what to expect, but when I entered LCC theater and hearing the songs of worship, I felt God’s presence. I felt God’s hand on my shoulder, like he was welcoming back. Welcoming back with open arms. I cried. I had never felt anything like that before. I had never felt God like that.

I thank God for her, Shaun, and the new friends I’ve made at Grace Bible who are helping me with my walk with God. My frienship with Shaun has grown so much in so little time, and I have deeper relationship with her now.

Through this time, I’ve taken a step back from making music in order to grow in my relationship with God. I know that God will bless me with that when need be, and it will come to me only when he wants it to.

I feel happy with everything in my life. Happy that God is the center of my life, and that God has something special in store for me. And I will not stumble and let worldly things come in the way of it.

-STAN

Open Sesame…

New blog. New life.

Coming soon…

-STAN